Archive for the ‘Respect’ Category

How Could This Possibly Go Wrong?

You just received the best possible gift in the world today.  And, now that the day has ended, you feel yourself falling to sleep wondering and hoping that you get it again tomorrow.

Just this morning you were running circles around the family, getting everything ready after waking up bright and early.  Preparing for each person who has an important place in your home.

But, oddly enough, this is not what you did today.  And, today went on to remind you, that you were in love.

There is nothing special about today.  It’s not a holiday.  It’s not a birthday, and nothing has happened that would make you think that this moment, was anything that would feel like an apology.

The funny thing is that it wasn’t just a moment.  A moment can be fleeting, disregarded and forgotten.  But what you saw and were given, was something

Well, maybe this could go wrong.

Well, maybe this could go wrong.

that happened throughout the day.  You couldn’t believe that it was many moments.

You  noticed it when you woke up, with that gentle kiss.

But it didn’t end.

It continued with a note showing up on the mirror, telling you that you were looking at the most beautiful women in the world.  And the fact that the kids were fed and there he was starting on the lunches.  You join him, not to take it over but to do it with him,  as you didn’t want to miss out on this moment to do it together.

Then you get this funny text message on your cell.  It was short, sweet and too the point.

“Hi sweetie, just wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you.  Meeting sucks, but it will be all better when I see you at lunch”

He is anxious, work is getting in the way, but he works through all of it to quickly leave and meet you for lunch.  An experience felt with small moments of smiles, chuckles, wonderful conversation, sweet whisperings and that gentle touch of the hand.

But it didn’t end there, later you see this:

“Hey sweetie, work is running late,  won’t be home till 7pm.  Start dinner without me, and I will see you then.”

You prepare for a long evening, when it feels like the kids are exploding at 5pm right on the dot, and you see that you have another 2 hours.

This doesn’t look good.

Tension starts to rise. Complaints run rampant, and you within 5 minutes become tired and exhausted, and your smile is waning.

And at that last bearable moment, which was only 10 minutes, he comes walking through the door.  He took some time in the afternoon, canceled the meeting and made it home in time to rescue the situation.

But it still didn’t end.

The two of you, together, prepared dinner and got the table ready. And in one of those fleeting moments, waiting for the kids to arrive, you slow danced to a nameless song. One only the two of you knew.

This evening didn’t end.  The comfort and togetherness, and the joint effort to make each other happy, was in full force.

Of all the things that happened, it could easily have been those last two hours that would of changed the day from an excellent day, to becoming exhausted and feeling like you were on your own.  Are we willing to give up other moments that may appear important, for the more important moments?  To take a moment that would enhance and build a bond so strong, that it would never break?

When you can, tell her she is important, by changing what you can for her.  Keep your spouse the center of the universe and have work, friends and social events become second, and make her second-to-none.

Marriage is about giving of those moments that create the firm and loving bonds, that gives you the sense of love and pride, and the pure honor of loving the one person, who will love you so deeply, that you can never see the end.

And, by doing this, you have created it so the end won’t exist.

The Menu Corollary

So there you are, sitting with your man, at dinner.

Or was it were you were standing in line with him at theater?

Maybe it happened when walking on the boardwalk with him, on a hot summer day.

Step away from the menu, their is nothing to see here.

Step away from the menu, there is nothing to see here.

And, for one brief moment, you see it, something that you expected guys to do, but may have never witnessed in person.  You wished it didn’t exist. But there it was, almost as if it was a slap to the face.  You lie to yourself, saying,

“Self? He didn’t do that, I must of stubbed my toe and the pain made it so I was hallucinating.”

That’s it, you were hallucinating, because guys wouldn’t ever fall to the lowly idea that they wouldn’t have respect in you.

“Well, maybe he just wrenched his neck?”

Even better, blame it on his inability to walk upright, and not coincidentally injure his neck at the same time.

You have just witnessed one of the worst offences of all the objectionable acts that guys do in the company of their “sweetheart,” the one you loved so deeply.

So here it happened, a shocking level of disrespect that brought down, this happy level of love, that this women had for you, and you became, just a “typical man.”

And, when it finally registers, she realizes… He looked at the menu.

Is it so difficult, and really that hard to always be in the moment.  Telling your wife or girlfriend, that you have no self-control? That this beautiful women, that you are trying to love, or learning to love, now feels that they may have to accept this flaw, if you can beg your way out of it.

Self esteem is a constant threat to marriage.  It is one of those things that us guys need to realize.  We need to comfort, embrace, and build up this person that we love, so that trust can be given freely.  Even being aware of another women, is the gateway.  A women will pick up on this so quickly.  They may lie to themselves about what they saw, but they really know deep down inside.  And later, these lies that you have built up in her, will come back in full swing.

The corollary to this problem, is that as a guy, you will never receive the fullness of love and trust, that a women is so willing to give to a man.  You will live a life of solitude, even in the presence of others and maybe even in this women, and you will miss out on the greatest joy that you could ever receive.  Her desire to cherish, adore and be in a love with a man, that truly loves her.

So in your efforts to love your wife, step away from the menu. There is nothing for you there.