Archive for the ‘Childhood’ Category

Insomniacs Parental Guide to Music That Doesn’t Suck

I feel for a moment, that I should start by saying something, like, “Welcome to Insomniacs Parental Guide to Music that doesn’t suck so much.”

And, just for you, the tired, exhausted listener who just put their kids to bed –  Mind you, it is 10PM and it’s a school night – But, you just fought each one, trying to get them to finish dinner.  Then fought there way through a bath, listening to them bawling, that there is “No Soap”, even though it’s sitting right there.

You know… right there… No, right there.  To your left. Your other left.

Then found out, that if they passively ignore you, and pretend you don’t exist, that you will go away…  Umm, yeah, right. You can see through that like it’s Wisconsin Swiss cheese. (Mmm, cheese). So they finish up there pool excursion, and you tell all the kids to get out of the pool and get their PJ’s on.

But,  for a second, you think, “Just 15 minutes.  That will be cool, I could use a 15 minute nap.”

Too which you woke up jolted, bleary eyed seeing that it’s 9PM. And… It’s quiet.

Which makes you panic, to the point of near insanity.  You jump up, run out, and there they are.  All awake, quietly fighting.

What? Quietly fighting?

Arguing which is better, the Suite life of Disney or iNick.  Both being low doses of  crack, I tell ya.  You now fight to get them all into there beds, but unbeknown to you, they were hungry and grabbed the bag of cereal.

And, of course one of them, can’t stand dry cereal so she makes a bowl… which somehow made it’s way into the couch…. What! Nobody did it? Anybody care to explain?

“Doesn’t matter, your all going to bed!”

Except the  youngest who just caught an episode, of, you guessed it, “Scary theater for children between 10-15”,

At Midnight, You can easily be distracted.

So, the fascinating thing about the... Oh Look A Chicken!

He is five, so everything is scaring him. Which requires you to battle the demons of the closet for 20 minutes, at 5 minute intervals.  Until you bring out this raggedy sweater, that you just beaten with a broom.  That’s right! Way to show this sweater who’s the boss, and that you mean business!  Because, dang right!  Your not taking any monster’s crap tonight!

And now that you’ve settled at your computer, to catch the latest in the ever growing world of bloggery,  you here, “STOP it, your bugging me.”

Sigh.

Off to now battle the monsters of a different sort.

“Go. To Bed!”

And, then 5 minutes later, it’s quiet again.  A good quiet, the kind where you hear the crickets, and the floor squeaks, and peace has returned from a land to far away to recall.

And you now sit down. To try again, and figure out what the blogosphere is talking about, but you forgot what you were doing.

Wait, what were we talking about again?  The head bobbing, sleep deprived, and yearning for the soft goodness of a pillow…

And now, for your reading pleasure,  here is the Insomniacs Parental Guide review to Keri Hilson’s “Knock You Down” with very special guests Kanye West and Ne-Yo.

All I can say is, thank you Kanye, for that excellent performance.  Because, we all hate having “hate” served on a platter.  It won’t be dessert, but probably a disaster.

Commander and Chief of my Pimps, flying high? Wonder how much that pays?

Okay, what?  She shot the bullet? The pimp in me just died tonight?

Yes, Ne-Yo, it did take a little of my life, from me tonight,  I won’t get these moments back.  Maybe with my luck, I will be so tired, that I will forget this even happened.

Maybe, if I get knocked down, then I will get  back up, which knocked me down. Because Love comes around, which knocks me down, I could buy the Clapper.  Well Keri, that’s a love, that keeps on rockin’!

Sigh.

This review of Keri Hilson “Knocks You Down,” was brought to you by the letter L. For the rockin’ roller coaster of Love.

Once a upon a time… You were a plane

When was the last time you sat in a swing?  Started to rock it back and forth, causing the wind to blow in your hair?  What’s that you say?  You did this last week? Well, then move along this isn’t for you.

To be free!

Weee! I'm a plane! I'm a plane!

The Chinese has an expression about Monkey’s swinging on vines.  But, since this expression talks about your thoughts jumping from one subject to another, and is related to sleep, I won’t be talking about it.

Even though I feel I could use some enlightenment on sleep, and why I don’t get any of it.

But what I was thinking about was the pure bliss that we get, when we sit down, kick our feet into the air and put a great deal of effort to get ourselves up into the air.  Just as you begin to realize that the wallet in your back pocket is hurting.

After resolving that minor issue, we are off and swinging again.  Pushing back and forth, letting the wind blow in your hair, and you start to make plane sounds.

Vrrrmmmmmmm…

Yeah, the stress is leaving, you no longer think about the project that looks to be overdue.  You stop thinking about the budgets, the car payment, nor the roof that inexplicably started to leak just a month ago.

And just as you get that rhythm, and your eyes begin to close, you hear…

“DAD!!!!!!”

You ignore it, pretending this child must have you mistaken for a parent, and not a Airline Captain.

“DAAAADDDD!!!  She won’t let me swing!!!!!”

Your brain kicks back in, you begin your descent as you attempt to land back into reality.  Sliding into the sand, maybe tripping up the wheels and landing uncomfortably.

You get your thoughts organized as you gently look upon the quarrel. And, you give up your seat to that flight.   Giving your little one the opportunity of getting to go on this ride, and allowing you to give up the captain’s seat for the opportunity to be the engine.

Shave the Whales!

In a moment, that caused me to chuckle.  I was sitting with my daughter.  Who is now in the I-hate-everything-your-trying-to-do for me stage of her hospital visit.   And doesn’t want to touch, be touched, and don’t even think about moving her.  And, do to her inescapable cuteness is getting all of my attention right now.  And, needless to say, she is so adorable [ love you pumpkin get well! ]

This past week, she has undergone open heart surgery.  And I watch as she struggles and regains strength.  It’s a uphill road, but she is doing great and I don’t fully know what to do.  I’ve realized there are somethings that mothers are just the best at doing certain things.  And, there is no joking right now with her, which is hard, nevertheless.

Every whale is important.

Every whale is important.

But dealing I must.

It’s interesting to be a third wheel right now.  Awkward moments abound.  But I focus,  and it makes things all better knowing I get to love on my daughter.
[ love you every moment pumpkin! ]

During all of this, we put a poster up with all the cousins, aunts and uncles wishing good will, speedy recoveries and expressing a  good sense of love from my family.

And then I saw a typo, a miss-spelling of sorts.

My nephew, who has a sense of humor, and wants to make things a bit lighthearted, attempted to declare,

“Save the whales!”

In all of his attempts at humor, he only added to it.  And, did for once today, make me smile.

I say to you, “Yes my man, shave those whales!”

Tell me again what this glowing thing is?

“Dad? How come they don’t have toy ovens for boys?”

I’ve been actively cooking and playing the next Top Chief of my home for the past many months. Let me reminisce for a second…

“It’s been awesome ride! I had such strong competition,  the challenges where excellent.  But, you all know who rocks the kitchen without his socks on?”

That’s right, it’s me! [ I’m doing my victory dance again. ]

And as I was blissfully recalling each and every win, and rubbing it in and trash talking Mario and Bobby…

“Dad?! Why don’t they have toy ovens for boys?”

Give me a second, I’m reminiscing, and your daddy is winning.

“Come on, Dad! Rocky was never a chef.  And your looking silly!”

Oooh pretty lights

Oooh pretty lights

Okay, now I’m panting, and after getting my mind to function again, I thought about this.  Why isn’t there a toy oven for boys? So, I pondered the answer to this and in all my Dad glory, I said:

“Son,  we don’t need no stinkin’ toys.  We have a kitchen, and it’s just behind you.”

And then I started thinking about these ovens.  What’s the fun in cooking and not doing it with someone?  Plus, children still need parental guidance, why not make it the real way? And, I get to teach him how to make a real cake, and not just one that only he gets to enjoy.

Kitchen’s are a wonderful place to socialize with your family.  You get to create something that not only they will like, but they get to see everyone enjoying what you made.  I get to laugh with my kids, and invent new pancakes.

Mmmm, blueberry white chocolate pancakes! Best creation ever!

Having this moments with my kids, will be the moments that shows them, I love them, and that I want to share with them all the good things in this life.

Did I mention that blueberry white chocolate pancakes rock?

What’s that I hear?

It maybe just me, but I think they are calling for me now.